阿Q吧 > 求大牛雅思小作文批改！题目是剑5 TEXT 1 的小作文，帮忙改下错，平下分。。谢谢，

求大牛雅思小作文批改！题目是剑5 TEXT 1 的小作文，帮忙改下错，平下分。。谢谢，

2025-03-01 17:40:10

推荐回答（2个）

回答1：

The graph describes the portion of the population above aged 65 between 1940 and 2040 in the three countries---USA,Sweden and Japan. As shown in the graph, it is expected to have increments in the rate of old people .
In 1940,the proportion of population above age 65 remained extremely low, as the figure of these countries stood at 9%(in USA),8%(in Sweden) and only 5%(in Japan). However by the end of the 1980 ,the number of old people in USA and Sweden had dramatically grown ,arriving at 15% and 14% respectively; by contrast, it had indicated a slight decrease in Japan ,then reminded approximate 3% in the corresponding period .Subsequently, fluctuation showed ,but had been predicted that the rate of the elder was going to descend around 10% in both USA and sweden.
After 1980, the number of Japanese old people had been consistently toward an upward trend .The portion of population above age 65 in Japan will overtake it of Sweden and USA in(around?) 2030. Clearly,the circumstances of USA,Sweden and Japen will reach the similar point.

回答2：

写的挺好。

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求大牛雅思小作文批改！ 题目是剑5 TEXT 1 的小作文，帮忙改下错，平下分。。谢谢，

求大牛雅思小作文批改！题目是剑5 TEXT 1 的小作文，帮忙改下错，平下分。。谢谢，