请帮我看看我写的雅思作文,并请指出其中的问题,最后按照评分标准给个分数。谢谢啦!!

2024-11-23 03:06:28
推荐回答(2个)
回答1:

说句心里话老兄 你些双边的真的很难 建议以后选一种观点去支持 不要两边都说好
下面看看你的文章吧
格式倒是很不错 肯定上过新东方培训吧 呵呵 但是问题还是不少的 请不要不高兴 但是你的文章最多在5到5.5分左右 我刚考了 作文7分所以自己觉得感觉还是不会错的
第一句话就有问题了 in this day and age 这个有点chinglish 的感觉 说实话我从没见过老外写这样的句子,其实简单点 at present就可以了 然后我知道你要表达的是年轻人 但是 不是the youngest 而是 the young (the + 形容词原型表示一类人不是最高级)
第二段你一上来 studying to be organized 真的是没这种说法啊 要么写成 students to be organized。。。 文章太长 如果想交流 和我联系吧 bing4242@hotmail.com

回答2:

你是按照4级6级的写作方式进行的,第一段陈述,然后说明两方面的利弊,然后阐述你的观点。
这种结构,用在这个题目上,很不合适。
4个分里的结构分,我估计你不会太高

还有,奉劝你,如果你不是对自己特别特别的有信心的话,尽量让你的观点在前面就叙述出来,毕竟老外的思维方式与我们不同。

再有,句子的语序有问题。很多短语在运用上本身是做后压缀的,你直接按照中文的语序往里填。

然后单词,你尝试用复杂的词汇,但用法与使用范围不当,这个肯定会扣分。

我不是雅思考官,我没办法给你个分数。

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