求大神改下这篇高中英语作文【满分25分】能得几分？ 题目是大意是让你向经理投诉旅游遭遇。谢谢

1.thanks for YOUR reading this letter.My name is Lihua,a traveller of Beijing Branch OF China International Travel agency.
2.too much terrible things happened in this journey made me feel unnomal.Should I leave there until my wallet become loose? it's ridiculous and also illegal,angthing else was mess-up,you totally forgot to meet our needs your agency had promised before.As a travel company,the more complaints your customer gave,the more undesirable consequences you would face.
3.I do believe a prominent executive would never neglect situation,and some improvements and action will be carried out sooner.this is where writing this note comes in.
楼主要加强英语学习啊，这些句子真得很挫......写出来会被那些懂英语的人鄙视的，囧rZ......

Dear manager，
I am writing this complaint letter to tell you our personal experience that we went through during the summer holidays.So I believe such practice should deserve your attention.Things are like that:

A lot of terrible things happen to us travellers in the course of this travel.First,we are required to buy the unneeded things including all sorts of souveniors,which let us feel uncomfortable.Second,many tourism sites are not where we really want to go.The guide has led us to the unpopular sites and we can t simply have the opportunity to visit some hotspot travelling sites included in your tourism ad .
Here are my suggestions on how you make up for us .As the revelent victims,we ask your company to make an apology to all the travellers in the public media and compensate the losses we have suffered.If not,.I reserve the entitlement to charge your company with service you provided
I wish we can receive your swift action and explain for that.

去掉you
meet改为met
去掉i should tobuy 中的to
feel改为lelt
18或19分吧

语法错误比较多..，开头第一句就有问题，要不你就写thank you for reading...
我在高中的时候这样的作文大概十五六吧