推荐回答(5个)
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追求完美并非不好,真正致病的,不是因人在追求完美,恰是因抗拒完美。若一个人从小被严厉高要求“训练”着要出人头地,或当完美者,那在他内心会充满对完美的深深顾虑,甚至敌意和恐惧完美。因在成长过程中,人总是害怕达不到完美而受罚或被否定,恐惧受罚亦是恐惧完美。准确说,强迫性追求完美的背后,是人深刻的自卑和对自身欠缺的恐惧。我们就能理解,生活中为什么有太多的人害怕被否定呢。
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要迈过心里过度追求完美的坎的前提是认清那道坎。我们心里坎的结构,常常是自己的脆弱自尊所释放出的自卑、敏感、恐惧。坎的肇事者是自己内心那个苛刻的理想自我,即我们常说的那个完美主义者。
往往人们都知道对所谓的坎应该迈过去,但不知为何总是迈不过,其因还有使用的途径(手段)笨拙,即费力不讨好。比如用“迈坎”与“通坎”意思一样,但迈,既显得费力,又在感觉上觉得即便迈过了,那坎依在呵。所以说迈过砍,不如说我们为坎通一条路,让它流出心外。怎么通呢?
办法之一是了解。分析心里坎的成因,就是一种了解。你若能自己凿开坎,还需要更多的内观,做自我了解。
办法之二是呈现与疏通。既然我们知到了心里坎的结构,那么为它通一条路意味着,需不断直面你的脆弱自尊,即不断亮出你的自卑点,你所害怕的具体缺点,不能再遮遮掩掩,先能够曝光(即能承认,能表达,能交流)在你自己和你的亲人面前,久之从心理上也有了承受它们的适应力。这也叫降低紧张恐惧的减敏感法。
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办法之三是宽容。人啊,凡有迈不过的坎,都说明对坎的态度有问题,从对坎的遮掩、回避等态度上,也透视出当事者的人生态度是狭隘的,至少对人对己是缺乏宽容的。回到自身,若能为自己心里过度追求完美的坎通开一条路,要学会宽容,试着温和地看着它,别再讨厌它忌恨它抗拒它......你若越是这样,它就越是存在。往往人症结(坎)的顽固是被无意识强化出来的。所以,惟有宽容的力量,才具有软化(解构)坎的功能,坎被解构,才可流逝心外。
宽容的根本含义,在于能宽容自己的缺点、局限、暂不如人的地方,把重心放在:如何去开拓能给你自尊来源的目标,如何发挥你的优势(你不会说“我一点优势都没有”吧?),如何去实现你旧的新的愿望......这些才是拯救自己的出路。
追求完美主义可以让你把许多事做得尽善尽美、没有瑕疵,从这一点上固然好,谁不想这样呢?
可是,金无足赤人无完人,这样严格要求自己,会很累,别人如果也以这样高标准要求你,那么很快这个人就会垮了,因为人的精力是有限的,不可能将每一件事都做得无可挑剔。
综上,有追求总是好的,但适可而止,最好适度追求而不强求就比较好了!供参考!
追求完美是好,但是没有十全十美的物与事,在好的东西,也有瑕疵,凡事都是相对的,没有决对的。
但是你抱着这种思想去学习或工作,是完全正确的。
其实有时候人很想去追求完美,但完美毕竟不是这么好得到的,所以会让你失望,难过。这时候就会出现两种人。一种是就这样放弃了,那他的完美是没有用的;另一种是不断的积极进取,那才是最重要的。你要以完美来要求自己,但是要用平常心对待自己。
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