帮忙用英语翻译下面一段话！！急急急急！！！越快越好！！

on September 1964
这么明显的错误也犯？
只有说到年月日才用on，其他年或年月或月都用in的啊

哎，我的译文是：
Nie Haisheng, male, from Zaoyang City, Hubei Province, was born in September 1964. Nie joined the army in June 1983 and turned into a Communist Party member in December 1986. He became one of China's first batch astronauts in January 1998. On October 12th 2005, Nie Haisheng flew to the outer space by taking "Shenzhou" VI spacecraft. And on October 17th, he with his companions landed back to the earth safely. Nie has a happy family.

Nie Haisheng, male, is from Zaoyang, Hubei Province.He was born on September of 1964.On June of 1983, he joined the army and joined the Party on December of 1986.On January of 1998, he became one of first astronauts of China.On October 12th of 2005, Nie Haisheng flew to the space by "Shenzhou" VI spacecraft.And on October 17th, they returned to the earth safely. Nie Haisheng has a happy family.

Nie Haisheng ,male,born in Hubei Zaoyang on September,1964.
Take part in the Art in June,1983.joined the Party in December,1986.
Being one of the first bach of astronaut.He take ShengZhou VI towrds to the space on October 12,2005,and he return to the earth safely on 17th October.He has a happy family.